Overcoming Fear and Anxiety… in Real Time
Oh, it started out fun enough…
I took major steps towards a career goal of writing, producing, and directing a short film this month, and it has riddled me with near-debilitating anxiety.
Oh, it started out fun enough.
Writing the script for Soul Mating was exhilarating.
Once completed, I reached out to an actress friend who had written and produced her first short a year earlier. She set me up with her amazingly talented cinematographer and 1st assistant director, who both enjoyed the script and were happy to sign on.
Location scouting was a dream. Every restaurant I was referred to was happy and excited at the idea of being a part of a production, and with each meeting, I felt my creative, producing heart shine.
Finally, after years of feeling off, lost, and left behind, I was in my element, and vibing towards my best.
The sky was the limit for Soul Mating, and this plane was just starting its climb.
And then, it was crowdfunding time.
BOOMSHAKALAKA BAM––enter tear-jerking, anxiety-inducing, impostor syndrome symptomed turbulence.
My actions and momentum towards getting Soul Mating made had opened the door to fears that I’d procrastinated into the background for years, where they’d remained hidden, yes, but alive and very well.
Now set free, they rushed right on in.
All of that confidence gained from feeling so firmly in my element felt in imminent danger of a crash and burn.
Suddenly, the idea of putting myself out there and staking my creative claim publicly, beyond anything that others validated me into––like booking a role, or being hired on a writing project––felt foolish and embarrassing.
In the thick of it, I'm learning, the only way out, truly, is through.
In the thick of it, I'm learning, the only way out, truly, is through.
Because as much as I believe in, and love to talk about, manifesting, I’ve learned that manifesting isn’t all rainbows and real estate. At a certain point, you have to do the work, you have to take the action.
Upleveling in life forces us all to show up in ways that we never have before. And, in my experience, the higher the uplevel, the bigger the chance of encountering and overcoming fears that you may have forgotten, or that you may never even have known you had.
But it’s this journey, and the lessons learned through the fear, pain, and discomfort, that prepare you for that promised place—that give you the tools and skills to thrive once you arrive.
For me, I high-stepped into all of that fear and pain when I launched my first IndieGoGo campaign.
I high-stepped right into all of that fear and pain…
The idea of going public with not only my desires, but also my self-validation as a creative professional near petrified me.
Sensing their opportunity, all my bad habits rushed forth and enveloped me in a full-on procrastinating, TV-binging, gluten-ingesting, podcast-listening, hydration-ignoring, bed-not-making, bear hug that sucked me into another dimension of timesuck and space, that, in the end, tripled my anxiety as a another fundraising day disappeared into the quicksands of time.
So, how am I pulling myself out?
Glad you asked.
Here are the three steps I’m taking, in real time, to manage and overcome my fear and anxiety.
How to Overcome Fear and Anxiety… in Real Time
One. I’m starting with the ripest fruit.
In contrast to the concept of “low-hanging fruit,” the ripest fruits are those people who champion, love, and support you, and will fill you with positive energy and excitement.
This isn’t about financial contribution, though, often, if these loves can, they will support you in all the available ways. But, at the end of the day, their most valuable contribution is energetic. They fill your cup and provide you with the foundation of support and positivity that makes it easier to go out and do the hard and uncomfortable things.
And, pro tip, they are the people that you should have at (or pull to) the forefront of your mind when it threatens to, or succeeds at, succumbing to doubts. What would these people say to you? How would they support you?
I’m making a list of all the sweet, succulent, life-giving fruit in my life.
When the doubt creeps in, I give it a look, follow that love and energy, and do what I need to do.
Two. I’m owning the fear and doing it afraid.
At each step of this process, I have come up against fear and tests.
Feeling like I, or my project, would come off as unprofessional to other actors in casting. Feeling like showing up with my project on social media would expose me as somehow being “behind” in my career. Fearing that someone I reached out to would be offended that I was asking for a contribution to my campaign. Fearing that my script is actually ludicrous, and I’m not going to figure that out until shoot day, or in editing. Fearing that key players and people are going to drop the project. And fearing, always fearing, that I’m not going to raise the money, and I’m going to let everybody down.
I’ve realized that the only way to quell these fears is to get on with it and take action anyway.
Usually, through action, the fears truly disappear, and I realize how silly and unfounded they were in the first place.
When they remain, I feel proud of myself for pushing through and getting to the next step––proud that I didn’t let the fear stop me.
Three. I’m accountable.
I've signed on producers, crew, held casting, and accepted funds. And with every new person who believes in the project, it's a new person I feel accountable to do my best for.
And then, I'm reminded that it's my own work and belief in myself that got me to a place to reach out to others with a project that they could get excited about, believe in, enjoy being a part of, and get paid for.
Remembering this both exhilarates and calms me, and it rallies me into doing what I need to do. In a “full circle moment” way, those that I am accountable to because they believed in, or were excited about, the project, became their own special flavor of ripe fruit.
And, literally, today,
all of this work is helping me in my return to social media.
In the past, I’ve had a hate/ hate relationship with social media.
I’ve had to accept that, yes, it’s an annoyance thing, but it’s also a fear-based thing. In the past, when I’ve been regularly on my personal social media accounts, mainly Instagram, I always ended up, somehow, feeling “less than,” like I needed to be, and be doing, more.
Even when I‘ve been able to truly practice Appreciative Joy over others’ accomplishments, I have felt like my seeming lack of accomplishments (and the bar was always moving) was a scarlet letter over my accounts. In addition to that, I felt petrified over the idea of shamelessly promoting, or even just promoting, myself.
That, in addition to feeling, at best, annoyed, at worst, assaulted by other people’s opinions on things, ultimately led me to leave social media in 2020.
Today, after a lot of personal work on myself, and with the changes in the algorithms of yesteryear, I thought I was ready to make my return.
Until it was time to put it into practice.
Until it was time to put it into practice.
Returning to spread the word about my project, I was shocked by the anxiety that descended upon me. Oh, the procrastination it unleashed, masked in perfectionistic tendencies stalling me from following through, or even starting.
When I sat down, looked the fear straight in the face, reflected, and did the work on it, I realized it came down to visibility. Being seen fully, in a way that I’ve never even fully seen myself.
I’m scared my new posts won’t be nearly chic, professional, or good enough. That they won’t be received well, that my Soul Mating account won’t be liked. And on, and on.
But it’s a step I have to take. For this project, and for my own personal growth and expansion.
An assignment I need to complete to move to the next phase.
So I’m focusing on my ripest fruit, doing my best for myself and for the people I’m accountable to, and acknowledging the fear, but doing it anyway.
I’ll be back next week with a report.
Until next time,
Shine on.